The weather was fair.
The temperature was cool.
The track signs were set and
so was I….the fool.
I collapse on my knees as soon as I end the race, wishing there was more oxygen in the air than nitrogen. Thirst is killing me, the sweat burning in hot flashes making me feel I am in a furnace. But I am just overjoyed. I look at the timer to see my results. It has taken me 29 minutes to complete this event, the longest ever I have run in a competitive environment. My position is 90 out of 108(results), not too good considering there were people older than me flying like bats out of hell. But it was good enough for a slob like me. I had done it and more importantly I knew I could do it.
And then came the area of my expertise. Pizzas and drinks were served for everyone and I ate like a pig putting to waste all the hard work I had done. Anyway it provided a nice satisfying climax to the evening. I have also registered for the next event and yours truly might blog about it if he can make it alive through that one. For now, my coworker has the bragging rights but hopefully I can overwhelm her in the next race. Ciao!
The temperature was cool.
The track signs were set and
so was I….the fool.
There were 107 other people competing for the 2nd race of the summer series, a set of four running competitions in Boonton, New Jersey. It was a corporate event with my company sponsoring us to run races all over NJ. Someone from the office had invited me to take part in this five km run around the field and I had obliged without hesitation. After running those five kilometers from hell as I would like to call them, I have now realized how stupid we are to take respiration for granted.
In these past couple of weeks, I have realized that I am my own biggest enemy, the main culprit behind my misery. I tend to bring enough trouble onto myself, climb the ladder of unknown challenges with the wrong sort of gear or sometimes with nothing at all and then slip up and fall from the great height of mismanagement on to the hard concrete floor, before complaining that the ladder itself was made of substandard material. Saying Yes to everything has been a ghastly old habit of mine and the genes running under my now badly and perhaps permanently bruised body always want to try something new be it food, game, travel and other things I must have read in books when I was a kid.
Alright so I stood in this muddy field which had just been soaked by a downpour. I decided to do some my warm ups which included jumping on the same spot a considerable number of times before my co-runner reminded me it was a running race and not a high jump competition. ‘What do you know about preparation?’ I wanted to ask her but didn’t since the potential embarrassment of finishing last in this race was at the back of my mind. As the announcer called all the runners to take their positions, I was already stressed out. I had obviously not prepared physically but mentally I had no business to be there. The last time I had taken running seriously was when my obnoxious neighbor Mr. Verma had pulled out his machine gun in response to me inadvertently calling his daughter a sexy b****. (Which she was but hey that is another story)
So I took up my stance at the start line, crouching slightly just like I had seen all those athletes do on television. They say when in Rome, do what the Romans do. Apparently the Romans haven’t being doing much themselves since the last two thousand years other than winning a few soccer world cups. I am an Indian, a part of the community which is not built for performing hard physical labor. We can develop software for the world though without breaking a sweat.
Here is a progressive report of my performance at the race :-
0-1 km: The Tortoise in the Hare skin
The whistle blows and I am off like a new car 0-100 in 6 seconds. It is a good, no a great start as I overtake five people. As I pass them I glance at their faces. They are five old women who seem to be keener on catching up on the latest episode of the Desperate Housewives. I pass few other people but as I turn my head in the direction of the leaders, they have just motored ahead and at that rate they would lap me in my first lap itself.
1-2 km: Early signs
My rebellious knees start to show signs of protest. But I am determined not to let the protest develop into a full blown revolution. However I was more worried about my lungs who I fear, like the world’s financial institutions, would shut down shop for accepting anymore air until the brain granted them a bailout by telling my body to stop this running nonsense. Outside, I found myself alone, a bit more space. Most of the runners are way ahead of me but some people are also way behind me.
The whistle blows and I am off like a new car 0-100 in 6 seconds. It is a good, no a great start as I overtake five people. As I pass them I glance at their faces. They are five old women who seem to be keener on catching up on the latest episode of the Desperate Housewives. I pass few other people but as I turn my head in the direction of the leaders, they have just motored ahead and at that rate they would lap me in my first lap itself.
1-2 km: Early signs
My rebellious knees start to show signs of protest. But I am determined not to let the protest develop into a full blown revolution. However I was more worried about my lungs who I fear, like the world’s financial institutions, would shut down shop for accepting anymore air until the brain granted them a bailout by telling my body to stop this running nonsense. Outside, I found myself alone, a bit more space. Most of the runners are way ahead of me but some people are also way behind me.
2-3 km: Mid-race crisis
The gradient becomes a bit tricky as I start to run slightly uphill. I start to draw more than normal amounts of air in my bloodstream. It has been sixteen minutes from the time I started. Within a few hundred feet, I see the race administrators holding cups of water. I grab one as I pass them and immediately gulp down the liquid. Big mistake. Since I am sucking in everything within nasal range including some surprised mosquitoes, the water too bobs around before entering my nasal cavity and I gasp from its effects having an overwpowering feeling of drowning.
3-4 km: Will I make it?
My left calf muscle hurts badly and there is an irritating motion hindering stitch under my ribcage. Other previously unknown muscles make their presence known too. We are now running around a ranch like area but there are no cattle to be found anywhere. I am the closest thing to a cow, slowing down to almost walking pace. Infact I am walking but exaggeratedly shaking my hands and legs under the pretense of running. Two ladies in their mid thirties zoom past me. “Come on, you cannot slow down now,” one of them says. I can’t waste anymore breath to speak so I don’t say anything. I think she means why die now, you might as well fall down dead at the finish line. So I keep on pseudo-running expecting to hit “the Wall” anytime now.
The gradient becomes a bit tricky as I start to run slightly uphill. I start to draw more than normal amounts of air in my bloodstream. It has been sixteen minutes from the time I started. Within a few hundred feet, I see the race administrators holding cups of water. I grab one as I pass them and immediately gulp down the liquid. Big mistake. Since I am sucking in everything within nasal range including some surprised mosquitoes, the water too bobs around before entering my nasal cavity and I gasp from its effects having an overwpowering feeling of drowning.
3-4 km: Will I make it?
My left calf muscle hurts badly and there is an irritating motion hindering stitch under my ribcage. Other previously unknown muscles make their presence known too. We are now running around a ranch like area but there are no cattle to be found anywhere. I am the closest thing to a cow, slowing down to almost walking pace. Infact I am walking but exaggeratedly shaking my hands and legs under the pretense of running. Two ladies in their mid thirties zoom past me. “Come on, you cannot slow down now,” one of them says. I can’t waste anymore breath to speak so I don’t say anything. I think she means why die now, you might as well fall down dead at the finish line. So I keep on pseudo-running expecting to hit “the Wall” anytime now.
4-5 km: Deliverance
BANG! And I have hit it finally. I have crashed into the wall and I am not speaking about Rahul Dravid. At one point, the runner’s wall is bound to hit you, the internal struggle between your mind and body. Both are fighting tooth and nail before realizing they are both on the same side- that is putting an end to this foolishness. But then there is the third element, a spiritual one, the dogged soul which urges both of them to plough on. By the time I approach the last half kilometer, I feel I am dragging an elephant behind me, an elephant that has not only been well fed but is lying on its hairy back, hands folded behind head, sitting comfortably with one leg on another on a sunny beach, smoking a cigar and ready to order its next pina-colada. One more person overtakes me, she is my coworker but I am just focused on completing the race. The cheers of the watching people get louder and louder so I know I am close to the finish. And I draw one last iota of strength while approaching the finish line and cross it with my arms raised in the air.
BANG! And I have hit it finally. I have crashed into the wall and I am not speaking about Rahul Dravid. At one point, the runner’s wall is bound to hit you, the internal struggle between your mind and body. Both are fighting tooth and nail before realizing they are both on the same side- that is putting an end to this foolishness. But then there is the third element, a spiritual one, the dogged soul which urges both of them to plough on. By the time I approach the last half kilometer, I feel I am dragging an elephant behind me, an elephant that has not only been well fed but is lying on its hairy back, hands folded behind head, sitting comfortably with one leg on another on a sunny beach, smoking a cigar and ready to order its next pina-colada. One more person overtakes me, she is my coworker but I am just focused on completing the race. The cheers of the watching people get louder and louder so I know I am close to the finish. And I draw one last iota of strength while approaching the finish line and cross it with my arms raised in the air.
I collapse on my knees as soon as I end the race, wishing there was more oxygen in the air than nitrogen. Thirst is killing me, the sweat burning in hot flashes making me feel I am in a furnace. But I am just overjoyed. I look at the timer to see my results. It has taken me 29 minutes to complete this event, the longest ever I have run in a competitive environment. My position is 90 out of 108(results), not too good considering there were people older than me flying like bats out of hell. But it was good enough for a slob like me. I had done it and more importantly I knew I could do it.
And then came the area of my expertise. Pizzas and drinks were served for everyone and I ate like a pig putting to waste all the hard work I had done. Anyway it provided a nice satisfying climax to the evening. I have also registered for the next event and yours truly might blog about it if he can make it alive through that one. For now, my coworker has the bragging rights but hopefully I can overwhelm her in the next race. Ciao!
