So the controversy over the exclusion of Pakistani cricketers in the IPL rages on. But the Pakis love to talk without the walk. Their performance in Australia speaks volumes about their abilities. It justifies the franchises' decision on cricketing grounds. One might argue that they are playing 50 over cricket and 20 over cricket is different. But you need the same basic skills. The bowling is looking increasingly toothless, the batting is in shambles while the less said about the fielding, the better.

What irks me here is some of our esteemed "stars", the two Khans and Bachchan, not satisfied with their horror show on Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara, decided to visit the theme of national disintegration again. So they spoke what they thought, it is a free country after all. Admittedly our media too made a mess of things and could have handled this topic with some sense. But that was the optimist in me. Does our media have any other job ? Another jobless nut called Ball Taank re - also mouthed his opinion for the umpteenth time. Taankre's own family has given up on him while the UP/Biharis are sh**ting all over his unbridled love of the Marathi Manoos. His sentiments would be better served to win some seats at the Sabha and not hog headlines with useless statements. A great city like Mumbai is what it is because of its immigrants and settlers, which mirrors any great city of this world. It is the culture which results from the mix, that defines what the place becomes. Although his views might still hold sway in Mumbai politics, the cartoonist has definitely seen better days, no?

That said, I agree in part with Taankre's views. After Mumbai 08', I would not not like any Pakistani cricketer to come an earn money in what is after all an Indian Tournament financed by Indian money. Although this is a simplistic view of things motivated by perhaps a misplaced sense of jingoism on my part, I would once again draw attention to the first paragraph of this post. Pakistani cricketers do "not" deserve to be part of this tournament on the basis of their recent displays. Time to blood some young talent in the Indian ranks.

Jail

*ing : Neil Mukesh, Manoj Bajpai, Mughda Godse
Directed by : Madhur Bhandarkar

Movies are rated by the way they make the audience feel about the characters' situations. In the case of Jail, it is about a man wronged and put into prison for a crime he did not commit. Parag Dixit played by Neil Nitin Mukesh is jailed for transporting drugs. The movie charts his life during his span in jail, his struggles to maintain sanity, his deteriorating relationship with inmates, girlfriend, mother etc.

Interesting ? Not quite. The problem with Jail is that it does not hit us hard enough. All problems seem to be manufactured and touched upon with a superficial hand. The characters that share the cell with Parag are so one-dimensional in nature, one feels that they are better kept behind those four walls. Not one of them with the exception of Manoj Bajpai makes an impact. The court scenes seem too simple and childish at times. I could myself make a case of defence and highlight all points that the qualified lawyer fails to see.

The second half of the movie partly redeems itself as it presents engaging back stories and there is a clever twist to keep us interested. Without giving away the ending, we as humans also ultimately feel naturally and wait to see if the convicted man is let off. Being from the Bhandarkar stable a happy ending is never guaranteed.

Bhandarkar, usually a very competent director, fails to live upto expectation this time. Somehow everything is just being shoved into our face with little or no skill. Unlike Page 3 and Corporate, where there was perspective to judge people for their actions, here is not the case where people just state what they are like with no fathomable reason. The director is not able to create an engaging drama.

Of the performances , Neil Mukesh is hardly an actor who makes us grieve about his losses. He is either too loud or just too wooden. Godse and Navni Parihar are adequate. Arya Babbar is average. All other actors too seem to be just going through the motions.

Watch it if you must if only for Manoj Bajpai's dignified performance. It stands out in what is otherwise a highly tepid drama.

Rating : 2/5

During one of my infrequent visits to the gym, (the consequences of which I am facing now with a few extra pounds in random parts of my anatomy ), I once noticed that someone had actually spilled some liquid on to the treadmill belt. Now everytime the belt completed its carousel motion, the stain innocently appeared displaying a dissimilar shape from its previous splattering pattern. That is the a similar feeling I got when watching Gowariker's What's your Rashee.

Due to some family problems, Harman has to get married immediately. How does he start he thinks? His uncle has listed a few 100 candidates. But he relents and finally decides to meet one girl from each zodiac sign. And so he meets 12 Priyanka Chopras. The resemblance in looks is excused in a silly way but is still acceptable. But just as the treadmill stain, this beauty((Priyanka is more good-looking than the stain though) just changes attire and appears with no appreciable difference in persona. And everytime Harman meets a new girl, they sing, dance and say goodbye to each other. Multiply this sequence by 12 and you get an idea how tedious this film can get.

Three errors here.. firstly Gowariker is very stiff in his writing. After making movies like Lagaan, Swades and Jodha Akbar it is understandable. But due to this dogged mantra of not going the lowbrow way or atleast some part of it has not provided him with the space to creatively manoeuvre and come up with a suave urban comedy . I think this movie would have worked wonders if it was made into a screwball corny comic venture.

Secondly, what was the point of seeing the zodiac inspired girls? The film makes no attempt in anyway at explaining what is the inherent demeanor of say a Libra, Cancer, Virgo girl etc so we might anticipate what is in store. Nothing, zilch. If the groom met 12 different girls from 12 different states of India, fair enough we have some idea but with the rashees, are we supposed to remove our horoscope charts and get lost in cosmic planetary codswallop. Extremely sketchy characterization inevitably results from this overlooked fact.

And thirdly this is a huge case of miscasting. By common consensus, even among his own family members, Harman Baweja is a man who can at most, pull out three facial expressions from his limited reservoir of acting. He is completely at sea as the man who is eager to see a new girl everyday. Yes he can dance, but as my Dean would say while comparing my enthusiasm for cricket with my almost non-existent penchant for studies - "This is the side dish, where is the main dish?"

What saves this movie from being an unmitigated disaster is Priyanka Chopra's sincere efforts. She falters horribly in comic situations but acts maturely in a few other challenging ones and looks kinky and enticing in the whole Shu Chhe Shu Chhe sequence. There are 13 songs. Some of them are very very good but only play on our patience in this never-ending saga.

"Above-average attempt at fantasy and a lowbrow fair comedy"

The promos for Aladin weren't very mind blowing and nor is the film. But it is a good attempt by director Sujoy Ghosh to bring the fable to life. He pays great tribute to Tim Burton in the initial sequences when he gives us bird-eye views of his fictional town of Khwaish, a colorful presentation of surreal buildings pasted against clear blue skies as a background. Here is where Aladin(Ritiesh Deshmukh) resides, an orphan, a loser who because of his name is bullied by his classmates to rub lamps. One such encounter actually releases the Genie(played by an over the top Amitabh Bachchan). The rest of the story takes its regular course with a scheming Sanjay Dutt thrown in for villainous measure.

What stops the movie from becoming a good adventure tale is a boring love story thrown in which just drags and drags. And to make it worse, after showing some genuine creativity with the sets, story and screenplay, the movie plunges into stale jokes of borrowing famous lines from Amitabh movies. And before you know the the good and the evil have clashed and the movie is done. Deshmukh makes a good Aladin, the new heroine is breathtakingly beautiful but has precious little to do. Dutt and Bachchan ham which is probably the need of the hour. Bar one song, the music is forgettable.

Rating : 2.5/5

Another Rohit Shetty film, another lowbrow comedy. This time it is about switching identities to keep the flow of pocket money coming in from big brother inspired from an old American play. What the movie lacks in taste makes up for it in some cool songs(albeit they slow down the narrative) and sexy wardrobes on the ladies. Yes, there are genuine moments of laughter like the Sanjay Mishra track but mostly the movie remains more miss than hit. It was a pleasure to see Johny Lever back after a long hiatus. Watch it if you have absolutely nothing to do. If you have the time, then rent a Hrishikesh Mukherjee classic comedy. You will be better off.

Rating : 2/5

*ing : Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, Vidya Balan
Directed by : R. Balki

Nice Family drama

Paa is an engaging drama about Auro, a child who suffers from progeria that makes him age 4-5 times faster than normal. Fortunately the director R. Balki(of Cheeni Kum) has not gone in for educating us about the illness or showing us the difficulties faced by the ill-fated child. Instead, restrained writing with some dry wit thrown in makes for quite a decent viewing.

The film has some hiccups in the form of a few stretched out scenes, digressions from the script pertaining to media and politics and songs not having the required zing in them. But they are just a minor cavil in an otherwise light family drama.

A special mention for the character who is Auro’s classmate and constantly complains about his father. Watch out for the telephone conversation between Auro and him. It is hilarious.

Abhishek Bachchan pitches in a proper performance as the cool young politician(obviously a take on Rahul Gandhi) even though at times the sangfroid comes across as phony. Vidya Balan looks beautiful(I love this actress) and is completely engaging as Auro’s mother developing a strong chemistry with her on-screen son solely with the help of facial expressions. The soul of the movie is Amitabh Bachchan who proves once again why he is the power-house of acting as he disappears under all that prosthetic make-up and makes Auro his own.

Ladies, keep those tissues handy. The film is definitely not mass entertainment but a different story told in a simplistic way is a rarity in our industry and kudos to the makers to invest in this project. Good watch.

Rating : 3/5

*ing : Ajay Devgn, Salman Khan, Asin
Directed by : Vipul Shah

A waste !!

Is it Rock on part 2 but set in London this time? Is it Abhimaan part 2 but relationships changed from husband-wife to two friends? Is it the Indian version of Amadeus, the great yesteryear flick? Is it the same Vipul Shah who gave us the underrated Waqt and the stupid but atleast watchable Namastey London?

Sadly the answers to the above questions are as muddled as the protagonist’s brain in this case Ajay Devgn who plays a hardworking rockstar consumed by jealousy because his friend and band member Salman Khan, a happy go lucky buffoon can sing better.

Devgn and Salman play Arjun and Manjeet respectively, langotia friends in Punjab. But Arjun has dreams and an agenda built on a foolish hilarious purpose. His grandfather committed suicide because of stage-fright at Wembley, London and Arjun is out to avenge that by becoming a singer and playing full house at England’s most celebrated venue. But Manjeet is in his way, unintentionally ofcourse. And then Arjun devises a sinister plan to shove the competition away.

As Thakur would have said, loha garam hai ,maardo hathoda (The iron is red hot, slam the hammer). And that is exactly what Vipul Shah proceeds to do, hammer one boring scene after another on us without getting us anywhere near the desired emotional level. Where is the drama, the tension, the need to feel sorry for Arjun’s plight? Nothing….even in the final showdown, everyone just breaks into a song with zilch concern. The final scene of the film shows what could have been done way earlier - the old “sit-down have a tea-time chat” with a good friend and express what Wembley meant to him. Spare us the contrived drama.

Performances by the individuals don’t rise above the shoddy writing. Devgn is stiff and one-dimensional. I don’t know what Asin is doing in the movie. Tomfoolery comes natural to Salman Khan and he is occasionally funny but comes up woefully short(again thanks to bad writing) in scenes that require more heart. Shankar Ehsaan Loy’s energetic music is wasted on this drivel.

Finally the London in London dreams could have been any Indian city but the director perhaps is the first one to make the British capital look ugly and renders its meaning useless in the title. Do not bother watching this.

Rating : 1/5

I never knew a domestic game would keep me so interested. Mumbai beat Karnataka by a mere 6 runs to get their 39th Ranji Trophy. Remarkable achievement by Mumbai. Hard luck to Karnataka. But what an innings by young Manish Pandey who scored 144 of only 151 balls to spearhead Karnataka's improbable chase of 338. This guy could well be in the senior side within the next two years. He is a red hot talent, this lad.

Over the years now, other Ranji teams have begun to catch up with Mumbai , known as the breeding ground for special talent and one step away from national selection. In the coming years it will be interesting to see how they fare against the big Daddy of Ranji cricket. Ultimately Mumbai's depth in resolve to counter even the most adverse of situations won them the contest. Congrats to them.