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Mercy Killing

A film that was supposed to make us cry oddly turns out to be a conflict-less tale

Fans of SLB will immediately recognize the jaw dropping art-design, the bird’s eye view of the elaborate sets and the use of lighting to convey the moods of various characters. Ethan Mascarenhas(Hrithik Roshan) is a quadriplegic confined to his wheel chair and his house that is falling apart like him. In his life before a debilitating accident, he was a magician. He is now attended to by his spunky nurse Sofia (Aishwarya) and supported by his lawyer friend Devyani(Shenaz Patel) and to whom he one day petitions of his wish to die by euthanasia. That forms the central idea of the film.

The film’s strength lies in the way the narrative juxtaposes the limp present of the illusionist with his more agile past. Be it his photographs scattered around his bedside which is now his permanent residence or the discussions between the two women in his past that incessantly touch on the topic of his glory days or in the vignettes from his own memory that are flashed from time to time. The appositeness of the sequences can’t be doubted. A signature Bhansali moment arrives in the form of Ethan’s mom’s funeral when he breaks into a song. Very well done and we have located the eccentric in Bhansali.

However, the film in these moments is devoid of the melodrama that would have us crying our heart out for the hero.Yes we know he used to be a great magician, yes we know his close relationship with his mother ( a constant premise of all Bhansali films of the hero being close to the mother) But the peripheral characters never evolve from where they began. Who is the nurse? Why does she do what she does? Who is the lawyer, what role has she played in his life? Then there is the apprentice who just appears out of nowhere serving no particular purpose to the main theme of the movie. And because of these factors, the entire setup feels hollow despite being mesmerizing to look at.

Another drawback of the film is its highly functional soundtrack(composed by SLB himself), a serious letdown after the track record in Khamoshi, HDDCS, Devdas and Saawariya. Also the sequences in the latter half stick out like a sore thumb. Even the boy Omar who comes to learn magic, is not shown learning let alone mastering the art. .

While not exactly a revelation, Aishwarya is utilized well for this role with the plucky tight-lipped, heavily lipsticked but caring nurse and her little jig at the club shows that while her looks might be on the wane but her dancing skills remain as good as ever. Shenaz Patel is excellent as the lawyer-friend. Aditya Roy Kapoor who shouldn’t even be there is just about adequate.

Most producers only want to show his brawn but there lies a very capable performer in Roshan Jr. Hrithik, as the immoveable hero proves to be the savior of this film. (The symbolism exists in the constant references to God, the statue inside his house, his unshaven face and hair that make him look like Jesus. He delivers one of his finest performances and keeps us thoroughly engaged with his eye expressions and tongue in cheek comments.

Guzaarish is inspired and in some scenes downright lifted from a variety of foreign films, but after a slew of loud and clunky movies this year, Bhansali’s effort is a welcome relief, if only it had more thump to it and was not paralyzed to its chair like the crumbling protagonist……..

For a hilarious review on the film please see Guzaarish from the Vigil Idiot.

Rating : 2.5/5
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An omelette made from Emu(the Aussie bird) eggs, is reportedly sold in reputed hotels in Mumbai at rates as high as Rs 5,500 and is very much in demand. A Surat farm is among the main suppliers of the eggs of the exotic bird.

Read more from the Times : Emu eggs served in Mumbai
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The brake pads on my Civic gave up on me at 28,000 miles, almost 7K miles too early. I don't know why, but it probably has to do something with the fact that I live in a hilly area. and have to brake constantly... not sure. The screechy sound from my tyres put my head in a spin. After asking a few service centers, not a single one was ready to do it under a whopping $200.

Ultimately, I had to ask the Leprechaun, an engineer in my office with a great expertise in cars and he suggested doing it myself. I shopped for a pad. Purchased Wagner's ceramic pads at an even $50 and on the weekend drove over to the Leprechaun's house who has all the tools handy.

Jacking up the car, he guided me step by step and infact even did the part of the job which required brute strength. After forty five minutes, I, for the very first time in my life, had done some proper mechanical work on the car , other than the usual fixing flats. :). Felt good. If the brakes go awry, I will have no one to sue though ;).

The service center people called me up the next day asking whether I was bringing the car in, i might even be eligible for a special offer and I replied , Take a Brake buddy, I have done it myself. A Big thanks to the Leprechaun.
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Was having a romantic overdose for obvious reasons and I spent the day watching two rom-coms from this year.

Cool's Gold

Stunning chemistry between leads can't save the movie from just scraping the bottom of the romantic chest.

A minor accomplishment of I hate luv storys is the obvious chemistry between the leading pair. Jay(Imran) and Simran(Sonam) fill every frame with a youngish charm and color that is terrific to look at in the beginning but begins to look and sound gaudy as the movie progresses because it is painted on a wafer-thin canvas of a script filled with banal dialogues.

The major accomplishment however is that it explains why most bollywood rom-coms(or atleast the Yashraj and Dharma productions ones) are heading south - the sense that they are trying to be uber“cool”. This display of blatant coolness is everywhere with Jai turning Jay, a man who dresses in formals addressed as uptight and mocked endlessly. The foundation of the story is trying to be cool with Jai continuously scoffing at the idea of love while Simran who works as an art director on a romantic director’s(smoothly played by Sonu Sood) set lives by that very notion.

The problem is first time director Punit Malhotra doesn’t invest in the relationship much at all but unremittingly throws dialogues from old hindi movies in a ridicule laden sentiment via Jay’s character. He could do well to take a few tips from Imtiaz Ali, the man whose earthy love stories and the transition from non-committed to emotional attachment is written in such a relatable way that one feels that this might exactly be an encounter in the everyday life of two people in a relationship.

Imran Khan who has a limited reservoir of acting, is at tremendous ease in the bouncy sequences that dot the first half but comes nowhere to winning our heart in the second half. IHLS is almost an extended and bare-bones version of Aamir-Preity Dil Chahta Hai track. And that is why, he didn’t need to look further than his accomplished uncle’s portrayal of the cool Akash and his feelings and that too in a ditto scene in DCH, the one over the telephone where Aamir describes his lost love to his Dad. Imran's performance is no where as wrenching.

Sonam is perfectly cast but how you wish she was more fleshed out(physically as well, she is taking size zero to negative) as to her history with her “perfect” boyfriend, what makes them click as a pair in addition to the hasty story that they are childhood buddies. She is as always pleasurable in the light hearted scenes but is very raw in settings that need a bit more heart.

Sometimes, I say take it easy and try to enjoy a romantic film on its surface alone but even that is hard with this film. I hate luv storys , which even in its spelling of its title challenges grammatical syntax in order to be cool, tries promisingly in the beginning to ridicule the concept of love, but ends up mocking its own self.

Stranger than fiction.... and fact

An amateur drama masquerading as a movie

Anjaana Anjaani starts off with the protagonists on a bridge ready to commit suicide. In a hastily assembled back story, Akash(Ranbir) invested a lot of money in a particular venture only to see the market crash and go bankrupt. He meets the equally depressed Kiara(Priyanka in a pseudo vivacious role) who is there for another reason shown to us during the course of the movie.

The beginning portions do show the maturity that has slowly crept into Siddharth Anand’s direction ala Kjo’s KANK and I thought this will be a light hearted tear-jerker worth analyzing. But after that promising start , Anjaana Anjaani is unique in its texture that there is nothing to dissect. It is as if the production team came up with a check list that read

Trendy expensive wardrobe despite hero-heroine being penniless – Check

Great locales – Check

Music – Check, 2 club songs, 1 road song, 1 mellow song.

Screenplay – Check...Gay jokes, underwear underwear, hooking up with a hooker , yeah we do have some idea of a screenplay. And we can always figure something out as we go along. And oh yes, tribute to previous Yashraj movies in many scenes.

Character history – Check , errr….Not needed, ok a little bit put in. Make them orphans, lets make it easy on ourselves.

Original Script – Hmm… Yashraj we have a problem.

There is no script to speak of astonishingly. And whatever is dished out on the screen seems more juvenile than Dennis the Menace. There is not one character that makes us root for him or her. Every situation, every dialogue comes up as a cropper. It is quite frustrating that here was a great opportunity to explore two flawed people coming together on a road journey, but the chance is wasted and everything seems a contrivance.

Priyanka who enthralls us with her mini-dresses is equally mini in the acting department not helped by the fact that the character is so poorly etched. Ranbir is a zombie who seems to have sleepwalked on to the wrong set. He lacks commitment.

Anjaana Anjaani is a fatuous travelogue of sorts with the music being the only thing going for it. At the end of the movie, how you wish the film, would have ended right at the start with the two leads jumping to their conclusion to spare their own anguish as well as ours.

The music is awesome in both the movies, however it is all in vain. :(

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Winter is almost upon us as it has already started to snow in Minneapolis. This was a photo I took from my house one early autumn morning, a couple of weeks ago. Bye bye fall, welcome winter

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President Obama's 3-day visit to India was more business-oriented than political. For the sake of diplomacy he paraphrased India's concerns over Pakistan and the constant US aid to our neighbor. by saying that a stable Pakistan is better for India. However what he means and US foreign policies in the past have always meant that a stable Pakistan is a good counter force to undermine India's speedy development. An unstable Pakistan right now is too busy handling its own issues and not able to concentrate on spreading terrorism in India. Here is to our armed forces and intelligence men who have kept danger at bay despite the constant threats that we hear everyday.

Also it is interesting to note that while his fellow Americans pronounce Pakistan as P[æ]kist[æ]n as in cat, Obama says Pa:kista:n as most Indians would say it. Hmmm... yes I know, totally jobless I am.
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Oh well this isn't a movie review but while we waited for our Golmaal show to start, we went and sat in the hall which was screening Due Date that stars Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis, two people on a cross-country road trip.

Being directed by the director of Hangover, Todd Phillips, one could almost feel the movie suffered from a hangover of "The Hangover". It was good for a while before humor just turned nasty. I like Galifianakis's deadpan style of humor but I thought Downey Jr. was in the wrong movie. Will watch the rest on DVD.
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The consonants in the title might be the same but the range of emotions I went through in the first Test between India and New Zealand was contrastingly different.

Usually I am all excited about an India series but this time led to my behavior towards this series was apathetic to say the least. Even before the series had begun, I was looking forward to India's tour of South Africa later this year haughtily dismissing the Kiwis as minnows and ripe for a good trounce. However, when i woke up on the fifth day, I expected a "meander to tame draw" headline to greet me but it was famously Chris Martin who was featured on Cricinfo's first page . I was a worried man, ruing my views on the Black Caps. At the end of the day I was a relieved man, with Bhajji finally showing his batting abilities and the ever dependable VVS on the other side to guide India to safe shores. Although, it sounds gross but the fact is that the Kiwis made me eat crow :P

P.S. I think India will thrash New Zealand in Hyderabad. Bachcha log these kiwi boys :D
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*ing : Ajay Devgan, Arshad Warsi, Kareena Kapoor, Kunal Khemu
Tusshar Kapoor, Mithun Chakraborty, Ratna Pathak,, Shreyas
Talpade, Johnny Lever, Mukesh Tiwari, Sanjay Mishra,
Vrijesh Hirjee and Mukesh Tiwari

Directed by : Rohit Shetty

Three's a crowd in..

Rohit Shetty’s 3rd film in his Golmaal trilogy. It starts off with what has become a trademark Rohit Shetty opening shot – dramatis personae introduction in a mêlée of colors positioned in a physics defying position. Not that we need any introduction, as the audience is very much familiar with all the buffoons in the Golmaal world.

The plot is once again inspired from old Hindi films, a couple of English ones and mixed with a clever dollop of nostalgia. The main story revolves around Pritam (Mithun), a widower and his three sons Madhav(Warsi), Laxman(Khemu) and Lucky(Tusshar) who due to business rivalries cannot see eye to eye with Gopal(Devgan), his brother Laxman(Talpade) who are actually the sons of Pritam’s ex lover Geeta(Ratna Pathak). The ex-lovers situation is uproariously executed in a Hindi film spoof and Mithun Da reprising his disco dancer role. Daboo(Kareena) tries to get the old couple together but in the process has to convince the whole family to live together.

From the performances, Devgan just can’t crack it at comedy. He is pretty wooden and I think Shetty just picks him up for representing sanity in this mad atmosphere. Arshad Warsi, Tusshar Kapoor and Shreyas Talpade are the main rib-ticklers while it was great to see Johny Lever back in form. His two cronies Vrijesh Hrijee and especially Sanjay Mishra whose way of spelling was just hilarious also liven up the already frenzied air. Perhaps, the more interesting aspect (for me who prefer humor to be more subtle than slapstick) of the movie was Kunal Khemu’s idiomatic dialogues which packed a nice little punch of their own. Kareena is for the glamour but goes through the motions well. Mithun and Ratna Pathak Shah are good.

Overall, the fun remains until the jokes and acts begin to get repetitive but neither the film claims nor expects to be some logical device. Total Paisa Vasool. Watch it for timepass but I just hope no more Golmaal movies are in the pipeline.

Rating : 2.5/5

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*ing : Leo DiCaprio, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-
Levitt, Tom
Hardy, Ken Watanabe & Dileep Rao

Directed by : Christopher Nolan

The stuff that dreams are made of, not quite..... because

There is a thing called watching films because of the simple pleasure involved in watching them. But seeing Christopher Nolan’s Inception, gives you watching a video game feel. Audiences claim that it bends your mind but looking at its action sequences I thought it bends gravity more than the mind.

Dom Cobb (DiCaprio) plays a corporate thief, whose métier is dipping into people’s minds when they are asleep, He and his team infiltrate people’s dreams and steal ideas. Their new assignment involves a client Saito(Ken Watanabe) wanting to “plant” an idea in a target’s (Cillian Murphy) mind in order so that he can break up his business empire. This is easier said than done because the mind always knows the genesis of the idea, explained to us by Arthur(Gordon-Levitt),a team member. So an extra team of specialists is assembled with world-designer Ariadne (Ellen Page), identity forger Eames (Tom Hardy), pharmacist Yusuf (Dileep Rao) who each in turn explain their fortes and impact on a dream to us.

But these dialogs are added in the narrative in a very instructive manner. Hence the sequences become verbose and go on for too long and I felt I was always waiting for the big jaw dropping sequence that never arrived. What happens is by the time you are digesting the overload of information in the previous sequence, a new action sequence comes along that leaves the attention divided and our verdict on the scene’s astuteness, if any compromised.

Nolan is a clever director and dares us to think that something might be wrong in the set up. There is no doubt about the novelty of Nolan’s ideas especially the dream inside a dream conceit. The problem then with the film I have is not with Nolan’s idea but his ultimate script that is tethered by his own mechanical way of thinking. Dreams are after all dreams, abstract, moody and weird. Then why, do we ask that these expanses of mind and the characters to whom they belong to are not explored further, made more colorful or vivid(case in point Tim Burton) but instead culminate in a succession of action set pieces stacked one over another that could be readily found in an expensive potboiler.

It isn’t helped by the fact that, Nolan right from his Batman Begins days hasn’t yet learnt the art of choreographing actions scenes and the same problem is on display in Inception. Some of them dazzle like the bending of Paris or the city of cards SFX but most just fizzle out in a muddle of harrowing movements across the screen.

Leo DiCaprio is painful as the humorless protagonist(for no apparent fault of his) while the others are just there because they are a team. Not one from the cast of Gordon Levitt, Tom Hardy, Ellen Page or Dileep Rao stays on the screen long enough to register an impact. The only performance worth watching is from Cobb’s beautiful but estranged and scary wife Marion Cotillard but she too is his projection or so it seems.

Look, Inception is not bad. It is entertaining as long as it lasts but the bottom line is that with a lack of peripheral character development, the movie feels unsatisfactory almost scolding us to observe something “deep and unusual” in what is after all just a heist movie with not one but 3 time clocks ticking. It just gets too cool for its own good. People who think that ,they would find something more profound, with the help of multiple viewings, must be dreaming.

Rating : 3/5 - Unsatisfactory