I am back weary, tired and extremely sleep deprived from a mini vacation in Atlanta. I had a really great time but the problem was that this wonderful experience was sandwiched between two massive and extremely pathetic scheduling disasters. For all those who thought that US transportation is the epitome of efficiency, think again.

Here is where it all started. It was the July 4th weekend, and since it fell on a Saturday, major offices were closed on Friday. I too decided to get out of NJ and spend a few days with a bud of mine in Georgia.

I was scheduled to fly out of New Jersey on Thursday on Continental Airlines at 17:30. At 15:30, I get an email message that the flight has been delayed by an hour. So instead of originally going to the airport directly from my office, I chose to go home first and freshen up before I left. When I made it to the airport, well in time to catch my rescheduled flight, an understated overweight Continental attendant informed me that the flight had left on time.

“What about the message?” I asked with a mixture of shock and curiosity

“Oh,’ the attendant said waving me off,’those things are subject to change,’. She spoke so nonchalantly. It was akin to arranging your marriage with one girl and finding another one sitting next to you in the mandap and in the background your doting father in law to be carries a sign screaming those same words "Oh those things are subject to change since you too lied about many of the high-end qualities you possessed."

‘What now?’ I said already resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to get on that plane. Even if I could, I would have to wrestle the obese attendant first, which would have taken considerable time and effort and perhaps a whole lot of tickling.

"We booked you on a standby seat for the 19:30 flight. If you want to wait then you can wait."

So I waited and waited, an agonizing five hours because the 19:30 flight didn’t feel like showing up till around 22:30. When asked the reason for this bewildering delay, we got a reply that they didn’t have that many aircrafts to operate and hence they were waiting on some aircraft to free up so that they could direct it to another destination.

“It is the July 4th weekend, so it happens,’ one airport staff commented.

“Come see the Indian railways once,” I replied. “You will be astonished by the sheer volume they handle.’

Come to think of it. The US domestic air travel is just like the bus system, that you miss one and then wait for another one. Not like India where you do no find a seat in the train, you snuggle up with the TC, scratch his back or whatever your fantasies permit, smoke a joint with him and most importantly throw a couple of paper notes with Gandhi’s iconic image and voila you are just a nod away from a berth on the train. The system might be unethical but it works. Not that I am justifying it but just underlining the slippery nature of our legal code. Wonder if a truckload of cheeseburgers, pizzas and fizzy drinks would work out for these fast food loving guys in the US?

So that, my friends, was the trying first day. When I narrated this story to my friend who I call Mr. Accounts affectionately(not that we hold hands and take walks in the park), later that night, he said I should have taken a bath in the morning. I asked him what he meant? He said only if I had taken a bath, I would not have needed to go home and freshen myself and I wouldn’t have got late and would not have missed the f***** flight

“As a result,” he said raising a long pointy finger, as if he was analyzing a major scientific issue, “I am sitting at 2:30a in the night, in the gallery, listening to the agony you went through,"

"I did take a bath," I protested

"Yeah, but you did not apply the right deodorant."

What crap, I thought, dissecting this issue more than even I had evaluated it. Talk about friends, fly a thousand miles to see them and a discourse in personal hygiene you get. More to follow..part 2 - the good part… the three days in Atlanta.