"Headlines" don't get saucier and more intelligent or tongue in cheek than this.

"After sex sting, Tiwari ejects prematurely" (Report: courtesy TOI)

Nice one !! "The Times" are good.

Anyone has some meaty headlines they might have come across ?

Struggling commuters in Surat now have a new lease of life. Western Railway has taken the step of introducing one more train in the morning in addition to the existing Flying Ranee according to this times of India report.

This is great news for thousands of Surtis who daily spend 10 hours alone traveling from Surat to Mumbai back and forth in order to earn their livelihood. The new train will just take three hours to reach Bandra and give a boost to the heavy economic activities that exist between the two states of Gujarat and Maharashtra.

Traveling on commuter trains in India is one hell of a chaotic experience. I have had the experience of traveling in the Flying Ranee on numerous occasions even at a time when it was one of the fastest trains in India next to only the Rajdhani. These commuters on the Surat-Mumbai journey have a culture of their own which includes being loud, obnoxious, stepping on everyone's feet other than their own, pushing everyone in their upper quadrant(right and left), constant chants of chalo aage badho and mostly sister-mother related expletives directed at those people they have tried pushing but are not budging or to those who do not understand the aage badho part. They laugh loudly at every possible joke or a semblance of one including killing a fly that had got attracted to the decaying matter in one of the commuter's ear. On a recent trip, they also sang about 10-15 bhajans in their loudest pitch on the stretch from Valsad to Vapi. They share great camaraderie and once their stop arrives disperse as if they were magnetic with opposite poles.

I recall once I was on the return journey of Mumbai-Surat and the train had just pulled into Mumbai Central. Mom and I got inside the train. As we matched the seat numbers to our tickets a sweaty blue handkerchief came flying like a UFO through the window and landed on the berth just at the moment I figured that the seat was the one assigned to me. I felt so disgusted about it, that I threw it out the window holding it in the tip of my nails. I looked out and just saw the back of a man trying to get into the bogie. Then he suddenly appeared next to us and asked...no actually demanded us to vacate the seat. We showed him our tickets and told him to shove off. So he said that he had put his handkerchief in there and so he had booked his seat.

'What handkerchief?' I asked him
'Huh, where is it. I placed it here ?' He said sticking his nose on the window to see what had happened to his UFO? Shoe sole patterns of all kinds had formed by now on his flattened piece of cloth accessory. Since my mother was there he refrained from using cuss words but made his displeasure known.

'Hanky-throwing is not a civilized way to reserve seats,' my mother told him in English. Whenever my mom gets in a spot of bother she starts to mouth English words.The Surat rickshawallahs who ply their trade in the old city have often been left scratching their heads by the time my mom bargained a rupiah deal.

'See I do this everyday,' the man said
'Let us call the hawaldar,' Mom said. Luckily one happened to be passing in that bogie. Thank God for the semi-periodic checks our Railway police force conducts. Rolling a baton in one hand he understood the situation and took the man to task.
'Jasti badbad something something..is all I could understand.

The commuter man didn't look too happy with an English vocabulary throwing middle-aged woman and a pot-bellied pandu rounding up his day when the poor man must have slogged it out in some dilapidated office building in South Mumbai. For a moment I felt sorry for him. He slowly walked out. I watched him through the window. He picked up his handkerchief which seemed no cleaner than before and walked away to the next bogie to try his luck. A dirtier hanky might fetch him a seat I thought as people would be reluctant to touch it. Hmm..

Funny but incredible India it is.

*ing : Aamir Khan, Boman Irani, Madhavan, Sharman Joshi & Kareena Kapooor
Directed by : Rajkumar Hirani

Aal izz Well

Well almost. 3 idiots, the most awaited movie of the year based loosely on Chetan Bhagat's bestseller Five Point Someone is a refreshing entertainer with the heart in the right place but at times this heart pumps laughter wildly while at other times it sputters in emotion like a dirty carburetor which leaves the movie in a state of hyper and hypo tension at various times. Confused...don't worry aal izz well.

The movie starts off with friends and two idiots, Farhan(Madhavan) and Raju(Sharman) on their way to Simla to look for the 3rd idiot and missing friend Rancho(Aamir). On the way they reminisce about their friendship in college and the first half almost entirely takes place on campus of the prestigious engineering institute Imperial College of Engineering. Rancho is an engineering genius who inspires other people to think freely, question conventional norms about grades and studies and asks pertinent questions about the educational system as a whole(ala Ryan in Bhagat's novel). This irks the principal(Viru Sahastrabudhhe aka Virus) but impresses his daughter Pia(Kareena Kapoor). So obviously it leads to innumerable clashes with authority, arguments and the likes. Will Rancho and his friends convince the Fuhrer to end this madness , the mental pressures or will they end up being martyrs in this pursuit of excellence?

The film uptill the halfway point is hilarious with soulful elements interwoven between some hugely uproarious situations. The speech skit is one of the funniest scenes I have seen in recent times. Most situations have been given a lighthearted treatment. But it is the second half that falters badly with some silly back stories, a huge number of coincidences and a heavy suspension of belief.

Madhavan and Sharman have nothing to show in this film as we never find any character buildup for both. Ditto for Kareena. Rajkumar Hirani in his effort to evoke mirth out of every possible situation sacrifices on the core of any good film - character development. Not once I recall the friendship of the three jumping up and gripping me. Also the scenes like Sharman's confrontation with Viru, Madhavan's with his father, Kareena's with her father etc. which really require the audience to shed a tear actually ring quite hollow. We, like the director seem to be confused as similar situations in the first half were reduced to mere caricatures to tickle our funny bone, hence the impact of the real thing is lessened to some extent. As if the director compromised on the drama in order to let in some of the old commercial Bollywood masala.

3 idiots though in essence is pure entertainment. While Madhavan and Sharman are believable in their roles as losers, Kareena does a wonderful job as Aamir's love interest. The Zoobi-Doobi song is excellent and topped off by some creative picturization. California based actor Omi Vaidya delivers huge laughs in his portrayal of Hindi-challenged Chatur Ramalingam. The film ultimately is carried by both Aamir Khan and Boman Irani who get into their characters like never before. Irani's menace and added lisp to dialogues is truly remarkable. Aamir who never really passes off as a 20-something engineering student , makes it up with his mannerisms and incredible acting.

The movie is over-hyped and because of that it falls below expectations but watch it for its unmistakable honesty and its blithe bonhomie. But most importantly, the theater was filled mostly with young people, engineers or techies perhaps and going by the heavy applause the movie received at the end, it was that been-there done-that "I was once in this situation" appeal of the movie that makes it work and allows us to proclaim "Aal izz well".

Rating : 3.5/5 - Recommended

The talent pool of cricket in India seems to have shifted from Mumbai to Delhi. 5 cricketers namely Viru, Gauti, Kohli, Ishant and Nehra who were in the starting XI for our match against Sri Lanka at the Eden Gardens, Kolkata call Delhi as their home.

And it was the 2 Delhi Dashers - Gambhir and Kohli who scored magnificent tons to lead India to an easy victory despite chasing a stiff target of 316 in 50 overs. Gambhir remained unbeaten on 150 and India romped home with 2 overs to spare and with that took the 5 match series 3-1.

Great Stuff, we have our own Delhi 5..

Hindi Film music has been my love since childhood. So at the end of another year for our Hindi music industry, I have tried to come up with my own choice of the top 20 songs of 2009.

Film music this year was in great shape with the emergence of some seriously good talent. and that is what made it doubly difficult to choose. Sachin-Jigar enthralled us with their Paki-rockish tunes in Teree Sang. Sharib-Toshi had a few foot-tapping numbers in Jashnn and Jail. Ankur Tewari, an unknown until Aao Wish Karein came along gave us a glimpse of his talent. But the biggest and the most promising of all of them is this chap called Amit Trivedi who followed up his Aamir soundtrack with some remarkable compositions in Dev.D and then the great Iktara from Wake up Sid. There were the veterans like Rahman and Shankar Ehsaan Loy who delivered with Delhi 6 and London Dreams respectively. Pritam, not one to be left behind gave rock hits like All the Best and soothing soulful melodies in Tum Mile and Love Aaj Kal. So who wins this war of the music directors, who came up with the best track of this year? The ranking is based purely on the number of times I put the song on repeat on my stereo. Here they are

Tracks of the year

1. Yeh Dooriyaan - Love Aaj Kal: LAK (Pritam)
2. Masakali - Delhi 6 (A.R. Rahman)
3. Kurbaan - Kurbaan (Salim Sulaiman)
4. Iktara - Wake Up Sid (Amit Trivedi)
5. Dhan Te Nan - Kaminey (Vishal Bharadwaj)
6. Maula Mila De - Teree Sang (Sachin-Jigar)
7. Main Chala - Jashnn (Nauman Zavaid)
8. O Meri Jaan - Tum Mile (Pritam)
9. Twist - LAK (Pritam)
10. Emotional Atyachaar(Rock version) - Dev.D (Amit Trivedi)
11. Barso Re - London Dreams (S-E-L)
    
12. Aasma Odh Kar - 13B (S-E-L)
13. Kaminey - Kaminey (Vishal Bharadwaj)
14. Aazma Luck(Shruti Hassan version) - Luck (Salim Sulaiman)
15. Genda Phool - Delhi 6 (A.R. Rahman)
16. Nazaara Hai - 8 x 10 Tasveer (Salim-Sulaiman)
17. Tu Hi Haqeeqat - Tum Mile (Pritam)
18. Dil Kare - All the Best (Pritam)
19. Rasiya - Kurbaan (Salim Sulaiman)
20. Martaba - All the Best (Pritam)

Special Mention : I skipped all the songs of the movie Gulaal while watching it but after reading its music review I gave it a try and it is definitely very good especially Yaara Maula.

OSTs of the year

1. Love Aaj Kal : Pritam
2. Wake up Sid : S-E-L/Amit Trivedi
   
3. Tum Mile : Pritam
   

Composer(s) of the year

This was a real throw up between S-E-L and Pritam who both had two superhit OSTs each to show for. But for sheer consistency I will have to go with Pritam for having 6/20 songs in the top 20.

After catching 3 idiots this weekend, I can put a list of top 5-10 movies of this year which shouldn't be a difficult task considering there were just 10 hits in this year in what has been a really mediocre year for our Hindi Film industry.

Avatar is "once in a decade film" and technologically light years ahead of its contemporaries. And no it is not because of the story but because of the visually striking images that refuse to leave your mind even after you leave the theater.

A crippling energy crisis on earth has forced the humans to look for newer resources. So they land on Pandora, a distant planet which has a mineral called "Unobtainium". But to mine that, the humans have to coax the local population - the blue skinned Nav'i race to evacuate. the area. In order to communicate with these peace loving natives, human scientists have come up with the AVATAR program where researchers can mind control Nav'i lookalikes that have been genetically cloned. What follows is the divided loyalties that the researchers begin to feel after spending time with the innocent "aliens". Time is running out for convincing them and before long the humans are ready to use brutal force to blow them out of their homes.

James Cameron, the man and the mind behind path breaking movies like Terminator and Titanic delivers once again and how. The details on screen are so lifelike that as soon as the story actually moves to the forest, the viewer is transported to the magical land. of Pandora. It is a visual masterpiece that demands your attention like no other(perhaps only rivaled by LOTR). Words are futile in this case and one has to see it to feel it.

On the flip side, people might feel the story is kind of repetitive and have seen it before. The dialogues are pretty banal at places and some of the characters are just stereotyped cut pieces. Sam Worthington who plays the lead has his moments although his Aussie accent keeps on popping up here and there. Other actors do their job tremendously well but all of them just play second fiddle to the iconic scenery on display.

It also has a lot of underlying messages about human greed, the wrongful US invasion of Iraq and enviromental protection. Overall effect is mesmerizing and one more thing people , do not make the grave mistake of watching this movie in 2-D. Watch it only in 3D for the sake of experiencing one of the best ever cinematic projects in the history of film-making.

Rating : 4.5/5

Assembled my first ever computer yesterday. Great fun and worked nicely. The new windows 7 is ultra cool. But now I am looking for a monitor. Expensive stuff I tell you..but what can one do? And oh yes I need a keyboard, and a mouse and hmmm...a printer too. And all this because I want to use it for my own home entertainment...If my mom hears this she is gonna kill me

I remember an old joke that went like this :
NASA Space scientists were trying to launch a rocket but the damned thing would not fire even after several attempts. Apna desi scientist then proposed a brilliant idea. He suggested tilting the rocket to 45 degrees and then try again. And voila ! it was successful. On being asked about his sudden brainwave , the desi scientist replied , that he didn’t know but his scooter back home had to be started the same way.

The scooter he was referring to was obviously Bajaj who recently announced that their production line for scooters will close and they would concentrate on motorcycles alone. I don’t know why but the news really did hit me with a huge pang of nostalgia. My Dad had owned a Bajaj Chetak in the late eighties and all through the nineties. And that too after having waited for it for well over two years after placing an order. I have some really fond memories with a mini me standing in front near the odometer riding through the bylanes of Surat. The song for the old Bajaj ad is perhaps one of the most celebrated jingles in Indian advertising history. The “buland Bharat ki buland tasveer” was an absolute masterstroke at a time when India was undergoing economic liberalization. So much so that the word scooter was synonymous with Bajaj just like Xerox with photocopying.

Sadly Bajaj has to close down due to plunging sales which stems from their lack of innovation, a case very similar to another Indian symbol –Premier automobiles. Consumer tastes have also changed over the past decade. Competition from Honda had all but killed them almost a decade ago and a certain loyalty helped them to drag on for this long.

Now they have set their goals to become the top motorcycle manufacturer in India, not an easy task given that Honda is the top dog in this segment as well. But hopefully they will not repeat the same mistakes they made with the scooter and go “distinctly ahead” of competition.

Long live the scooter. It is the end of an era.

Yesterday the first snow of the season announced itself subtly. Before I could reach home and click something it was over and sunny days were here again. All I got was a Honda Civic ice cream. Blackcurrant with a bit of Vanilla.

Yup it is true, India finally is the numero uno Test team in the world on the ICC rankings. This dream was achieved after 18 months of hard work and nailed after thrashing the visiting Lankans at the Brabourne stadium by an innings. The most satisfying aspect was Dravid, Laxman and Tendulkar being part of this momentous occasion. They are the three remaining from the Fab Four and how I wish Saurav Ganguly was there with them to celebrate, the man who started this rejuvenation and instilled in our listless team, the pride to play for India.

Of the Gen X , Viru and Gauti have, what it takes to become the greatest opening pair in the history of the game and with tremendous youngsters like Vijay, Yuvi, Rohit, Raina & Kohli waiting in the wings, the future looks very flowery.

And how can one forget Gary Kirsten and the support staff who have kept the team fit and raring to go for every game. Mahendra Singh Dhoni is no fluke captain as some detractors would like to bring up everytime. He is an excellent batsman-keeper, a shrewd captain and really at present the only man who can lead India to even greater heights.

Pity the BCCI is reluctant to organize more tests , hence India's reign at the top might be short-lived, but for the moment let us savor this occasion and bask in the glory.

Kudos to India!!!

*ing : Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma
Directed by : Ayan Mukherjee

The coming of age premise has always been a favorite ones with filmmakers all around the world right from The Motorcycle Diaries(Argentina) , American History X to our own Dil Chahta Hai. So it was interesting to see another attempt at this now banal topic by casting the latest heartthrob Ranbir Kapoor in the role of a 20 something slacker.

Siddharth Mehra is the spoilt rich kid with a good heart but eventually and predictably, his lack of ambition leads to a conflict with his father and he moves into the house of his friend Aisha, played by Konkona. Here is where he starts his journey of self-discovery.

The dialogue style is very casual and contemporary which immediately helps to identify with the protagonists. On top of which, the screenplay(also credited to the director) has intermittent moments which one can connect emotionally to. It is very honest and very endearing.

But what works for the movie, in bigger light, it also pulls it down. In between these moments, there seems to be nothing much going on. There is absolutely no development of any kind, and with the exception of Konkona's character , no one seems to have undergone any change. In other words , the Sid we were expecting to wake up, never really gives us that impression that he has changed. The conflicts or difficulties faced by Sid and Aisha with the world and among themselves seem to be easily resolved. e.g a girl just arrives from Kolkata and is immediately a column writer for a trendy magazine....can't swallow that one.

A word about the music - (S-E-L and Amit Trivedi)It is awesome especially the Iktara song.
Performance wise, Anupam Kher as Sid's father, Supriya Pathak as his English-challenged mother are superb and come up with seasoned execution. Sid's friends are also fantastic. although they seem to pop up randomly. Konkona Sen Sharma impresses as always and looks charming.

Wake up Sid ultimately though belongs to Ranbir Kapoor who takes gargantuan strides in the acting department, a role he makes his own with some tremendous eye expressions.

The movie despite its slow pacing is refreshing because of its subtle treatment and believable characters. Watch it for Ranbir alone, who forces us to wake up to a new star on the horizon.

Rating : 3/5

Well not quite Indian PM style but I was in Washington DC the past week to catch the tourist attractions I had missed the last time I had been there. This time I went to the International Spy Museum which houses exhibits used by spies from all over the world.

A unique feature of the museum is its controlled entry, where visitors are given 5 minutes to memorize details of one of 16 spy profiles they are to assume (fictitious name, age, place of birth, destination, and so forth) as their "cover" before they are allowed to proceed into the exhibit area. Each "cover" is subtly assigned a mission on the plaque bearing their details, but completion is not required. Later while touring the museum visitors may test themselves at an interactive display on how well they remember the details of their selected spy identity. They may also be stopped occasionally by museum guides acting as "police" and "questioned" about their assumed identity. (Source : Wikipedia)

I was highly impressed by the exhibits and lots of other interactive tools. One of them also involved crawling inside air-conditioning ducts to eavesdrop on conversations happening below. All the gadgets we have seen in James Bond movies actually exist in reality and the most deadly one I thought was the "lipstick pistol".


For me as a person who has grown up reading espionage thrillers by Ian Fleming and Alistair Maclean, the experience was exhilarating. The CIA which has contributed to the museum's design has been criticized for romanticizing the profession with their interactive rools but then without them it would have been half the fun.

Don't miss this if ever you are visiting the capital of the United States.

*ing : Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Danny DeVito, Kim Basinger
Directed by : Curtis Hanson

Once in a while a movie comes along which is old-fashioned in its treatment but doubly effective and it provides an irresistible treat for cinema lovers like me.

Director Curtis Hanson expertly adapts James Ellroy's novel and Brian Hegeland's screenplay based in the 50's Los Angeles, a city which is rife with corruption and racism. The story centers around three cops who have their own style and means to solve crimes.

Jack Vincennes(Kevin Spacey) is the attention seeker who has made a name by catching celebrities in compromising positions like dope or sexual fetishes. Bud White(Russell Crowe) is a hot headed cop with a soft corner for women. He doesn't wait for answers but pummels them out of criminals.The third is Ed Exley(Guy Pearce), who is a college educated, ethical and out to prove a point officer. Their lives collide when each one finds himself investigating a massacre at a coffee shop that also has a cop in its body count.

At first they jockey for attention but as their inquiries lead them inside an intricate web of police corruption, racist attitudes, prostitution rings and malevolent agendas, they realize that they are safer together on one side.

Every scene of L.A. Confidential carries a brutal realism about it. Right from the tracking of suspects to the brilliant interrogation techniques, the screenplay carries enough narrative twists to hold you on the edge of your seat.

All three actors, Spacey, Crowe and Pearce play their roles to perfection and demands of the script. The other characters are also well sketched like Kim Basinger's role as a call girl (Man is she hot!!)

Art direction is excellent as usual as the locations speak for themselves showing a morally contaminated city. In this age of high tech gadgets, sci-fi thrillers and senseless SFX, L.A confidential delivers a masterpiece of noir cinema that is gritty and disturbing but satisfying as hell.

Highly recommended!! - 4.5/5