From time immemorial it has been the human tendency to blame someone for any kind of misfortune. It is in our genes, our forefathers did it, we do it and according to research, the art became so specialized that they constructed special buildings called parliaments(the British commonwealth) or capitol buildings (America) where professionals could square off against each other. The latest issue to literally “hog” the limelight has been “Swine Flu”. Who should be blamed then, for this gut-wrenching, demotivating and as we know potentially fatal disease? Here are some prospective candidates :

Carnivores : For munching mindlessly on meat that wasn’t passed fit for consumption before finding out that this would be a little hard to digest let alone passing it out of the system.

Herbivores : For starting all this vegetarianism vs meat-eating hullabaloo where the stuck in the middle omnivores got so agitated that they couldn't decide which way to satisfy their appetites and swung too far to the meat eaters side and turned into carnivores and then we know what the carnivores did.

Warner Brothers : They allowed Porky the Pig to garner all the fame a farm animal could have dreamt of but failed to recognize the difference between his dramatized stutter and when he really started stammering thereby missing the first chance to warn the world. All they could say was th...th..th..th..th..thats all folks.

Matchmaking Websites : In order to make money, they were happy to bring together two people even if they were from a different planet, different species or for that matter same sex. In their chicanery they also applied lipstick on a pig and tried to get it hooked up with a chimpanzee. As President Obama sheepishly claimed “"You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig” But the chimpanzees being the monkeys they were, couldn’t control their hormones and went ahead with their famous kissing ritual producing disastrous results.

The Chinese : History suggests that the Chinese were the first ones to domesticate the pig turning it from the wild boar(which landed accidentally in their backyard) to the absolutely disgusting “low quality” disease spreading animal we know today. Sounds similar to what the Chinese do with everything which lands in their manufacturing space. They also put it on their calendar. Blame the source.

Islamic countries and “a” Jewish country : They keep on showering hostilities on each other on every imaginable topic but agree on just one thing. Don’t consume pork which has had the effect of belittling the self confidence of the pig who went into severe depression since it was not good enough to be “halaled” or “koshered”

Mosquitoes, Fleas and Lice : And adding to defamation to depression…. if only these organisms weren’t hell bent in showing their superiority for being the major disease carriers, the pig wouldn’t have jumped into this whole mess. “Size does matter,” claimed the bloody swine

Indian Government : As far as India is concerned , the Government washed its hands off shamelessly by giving a “knee-jerk reaction” to the entire situation by showing some insensitivity to the first Pune victim. It was only when the mortality numbers landed in their breakfast tea they acknowledged that the earlier reaction was due to the knee suffering from chronic arthiritis and tried to get things in order. In the end though, it was another case of adding Swine flu to a long list of diseases they have shoddily managed.

Americans : They are calling it the revenge of the Bacon as you can see from the picture.
Need I say anything more?


And lastly and perhaps the biggest culprit....

Media: Its centuries long expertise to take advantage of the unsuspecting common man and despite all the complexities of the human body, the media has been unswervingly able to first find and then press that magic button located in the brain – The PANIC button.

Feel free to add anything to this unfunny comedy of errors