I just moved into my new place last night and by the time all things were done it was past 11 p.m. Suddenly I realized I did not have any milk, bread and my bag of potato chips. Yes, this my diet, just underlines the horrors of living alone. (Hint: Women, I am single and almost entirely eligible). All stores are closed obviously. But I realize there is a 24 hr Pathmark nearby. So I hop into my car and drive straight to it. After doing my shopping, I arrive at the checkout and what do I see, all counters have been abandoned. I get a little scare thinking even the doors might be locked and I have to spend the night in the supermarket but then it is open 24 hrs isn't it?.

Then an attendant comes out of nowhere to my rescue and says "Sir, you will have to use the self checkout scanner"
'But, I haven't used one before," I say looking at the short man with distrust.
'It is easy, just follow the instructions'

So I go and as soon as I am within 2 feet of it, a sprightly voice surprises me definitely not one you expect to hear at almost midnight.
'Welcome, to the Pathmark self checkout.' the voice from the machine says. From the sound of it, I think it belongs to a young lady, a beautiful one at that(Hint: the sort of woman I am looking for) ). 'Place item with bar code on scanner' the voice continues
I did what she or rather "it" told me to do and whoa one by one everything was scanned. 'That was quick' I thought. I was half hoping to have a bar code inscribed on me so that even I would be priced which would be pretty cheap going by the rate at which I am going in the marriage market. (Hint: Yes, I am sounding desperate for a wife I know).

Oh yeah so where was I , yes self checkout is pretty neat. I will try that again next time. Oh the wonders of automation. I wish some automated machine would also choose my spouse for me according to set criteria. Do I need a self-checkout then?(Hint: how many hints you need you dumb females?)